• Adoption

    I’m Watching

    Today is the first day in a long time that I was able to really sit and focus, to quiet my mind, stare at my children’s sweet faces, remember that I am a mommy and that I love it. Our days have been full of packing, shopping and event planning all week, and I have missed the kids. Our fundraiser event was wonderful. The people who helped us were selfless and generous. I cannot thank them all enough. God is showing us how powerful our support is, and that we are not alone, buoyed up by this foundation of His faithful children. We raised almost $3000, bringing our total funds…

  • Adoption

    Call to Action

    We received an email from our adoption agency Friday. It explained that because of the changes in the Japan program made by the Department of State, adoptive families will now be required to go to court while in Japan. Though we are incredibly thankful that our agency and other agencies are working so hard to keep this program open, and to continue to make it possible for families to provide homes for orphans overseas, this new procedure does not come without costs. Having to go to court to adopt a baby will mean an estimated $10,000 in attorney fees that we did not anticipate. Also, the time we will have…

  • Adoption

    Mother’s Day

    This Mother’s Day I was tempted to feel sorry for myself.  Our adoption process is still on “pause” while we wait for the Tutterrows‘ case to go before a judge, and hopefully pave the way for the rest of us to bring our babies home.  There is no real timeframe which has been maddening. Meanwhile, my book appeared on Amazon and Barnes & Noble for pre-order one day last week, and I have been vacillating between the thrill of a life-long dream come true and a strange and guilty sense of “pretending” that I guess is a form of imposter syndrome. I honestly had the best Mother’s Day I can…

  • Adoption

    Save International Adoption

    I cried in the dentist chair today.  Not because of anything the hygienist was doing, but because of the International Adoption Crisis that is happening right now.  Our family has worked so hard to raise over $20,000, and now our adoption and many others are in jeopardy.  It’s a heartbreaking and infuriating problem that not many people know about.  Our Department of State is implementing new regulations that will raise already high costs to astronomical levels, and will ultimately close many if not all international adoption programs in the United States.   Our agency has been denied accreditation renewal, though they have done EVERYTHING necessary to renew it.  Now, the…

  • Adoption

    Halfway

    I dreamed last night that we had a baby. It was a long dream, and one of those rare, completely realistic dreams. There were no multi-story buildings missing the stairs, no embarrassing nonsensical “forgot my pants” scenarios, and I wasn’t trying to drive a car from the passenger seat. It was just my family enjoying our new baby. Jason’s parents were there, meeting their new grandbaby. I was watching proudly as my children told the story of how we came to have another child, and Jason held the baby close and kissed her tiny head. The baby was a girl. She was a newborn. She didn’t have a first name.…