Adoption

Halfway

I dreamed last night that we had a baby. It was a long dream, and one of those rare, completely realistic dreams. There were no multi-story buildings missing the stairs, no embarrassing nonsensical “forgot my pants” scenarios, and I wasn’t trying to drive a car from the passenger seat. It was just my family enjoying our new baby. Jason’s parents were there, meeting their new grandbaby. I was watching proudly as my children told the story of how we came to have another child, and Jason held the baby close and kissed her tiny head.

The baby was a girl.

She was a newborn.

She didn’t have a first name. We told people we hadn’t given her one yet.

This was a precious dream. Maybe it didn’t mean anything at all, but it was such a lovely, comforting way to wake up and start my day, that it felt like a message of reassurance.

We pray regularly that God will continue to provide the funds for this adoption, and He has been faithfully answering those prayers. Like manna, the money has been steadily provided. I calculated how much we would have to earn each day in order to have all of our funds raised by our fantasy goal date of June 1. The number was $370, and we have been meeting or exceeding that for almost two weeks, with proceeds coming from garage sale items, eBay sales, cans and bottles, and generous donations.

But despite our having finished all of the paperwork, fingerprinting, physical exams, and background checks for the home study, we still haven’t had our home visits. The wait feels maddeningly familiar.

And during the garage sale in Beaverton, we received an email from our agency saying that there was a problem with their accreditation renewal, and that there would be a lapse of a few weeks while it was straightened out. Even though the email stated that they didn’t foresee any problems occurring, it outlined our options and one of them was transferring to another agency. Another agency would mean no newborn baby from Japan.

That scared me.

I’ve been worrying about it. Even though we made $1000 at our second garage sale, on Easter weekend, with only a fraction of the stuff we had at our sale at home. Even though as we were cleaning up at the end of the last day, a man pulled up, said, “Sorry I’m late,” handed me a $20 bill, and then drove away. Even though we received an incredible $1000 gift over the weekend. And even though we tallied our saved funds and realized that we are HALFWAY to our goal! That’s what I said, HALFWAY!

You would think I would be resting easy in the obvious care and provision that God is bestowing upon us.

We have raised $20K.

In 5 months.

It’s unbelievable. But still I was worried. Who is wanting me to be filled with worry and doubt right now? Is the voice telling me, “There’s no baby for you at the end of this long road,” a voice I should be listening to?

These are scary things for me to share with you. But when we adopted Hudson, I watched an incredible story unfold around me, and this time I want to share that experience. It is a powerful thing to watch what faith can do. We are a one-income family with five children who has raised $20,000 in five months. And it’s not over.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.  Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.  Psalm 81:10

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.  Matthew 21:22

My name is Pam Ogden, and I’m a wife, mom, homeschool teacher, blogger, and an author. I am passionate about my faith, family and adoption. My blog is the story of our previous and current adoption, and how our family is growing physically and spiritually.

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