• Adoption

    Waiting for Baby

    My finger hovers over the “SEND” button.  The email just says, “Yes.”  This decision doesn’t seem like one that I should be given the authority to make.  Who am I to “choose” which baby I get?  At the same time, the process to this point has felt so insultingly invasive, personally critical, and endlessly tedious, that I tend to feel like I have somehow earned some kind of right to manipulate the outcome.  When I find myself thinking that way, I am disgusted.  Our baby is not a trophy.  She’s not a commodity.    I didn’t expect this part of the process to be so HARD.  It’s unbelievable to me…

  • Adoption

    Update December 2018

    Early last Tuesday morning I spent $113 to overnight all of our paperwork to Faithful Adoption Consultants. We had every document, every signature, every reference, and every photo itemized and stacked on the kitchen counter the night before. The pile was so fat I couldn’t wedge the jaws of a giant binder clip around the edge of it. I emailed FAC the night before to ask about the best way to send it and when I saw their answer, “UPS or Fed-Ex overnight,” I stepped into a pair of boots, pushed my coat on over my sweatshirt sleeves, tucked the whole precious stack of papers under my arm and headed…

  • Adoption

    Hands Full, Arms Empty

      Six years ago today we answered THE PHONE CALL that we had been waiting a year for. Two days later we flew to Korea to pick up our son. Today, our current adoption is still delayed because of changes our Department of State has made. For the first time, I’ve entertained the idea of a “Plan B”.  This is the nature of adoption, I know. Nothing is sure, delays and changes are almost guaranteed. Transferring care (or better yet love) across international borders is messy, unpredictable, expensive, and always in a state of flux.  Yesterday my mom said that she knows people are praying for her because she has…

  • Adoption

    I’m Watching

    Today is the first day in a long time that I was able to really sit and focus, to quiet my mind, stare at my children’s sweet faces, remember that I am a mommy and that I love it. Our days have been full of packing, shopping and event planning all week, and I have missed the kids. Our fundraiser event was wonderful. The people who helped us were selfless and generous. I cannot thank them all enough. God is showing us how powerful our support is, and that we are not alone, buoyed up by this foundation of His faithful children. We raised almost $3000, bringing our total funds…

  • Adoption

    Save International Adoption

    I cried in the dentist chair today.  Not because of anything the hygienist was doing, but because of the International Adoption Crisis that is happening right now.  Our family has worked so hard to raise over $20,000, and now our adoption and many others are in jeopardy.  It’s a heartbreaking and infuriating problem that not many people know about.  Our Department of State is implementing new regulations that will raise already high costs to astronomical levels, and will ultimately close many if not all international adoption programs in the United States.   Our agency has been denied accreditation renewal, though they have done EVERYTHING necessary to renew it.  Now, the…