• Adoption

    Waiting for Baby

    My finger hovers over the “SEND” button.  The email just says, “Yes.”  This decision doesn’t seem like one that I should be given the authority to make.  Who am I to “choose” which baby I get?  At the same time, the process to this point has felt so insultingly invasive, personally critical, and endlessly tedious, that I tend to feel like I have somehow earned some kind of right to manipulate the outcome.  When I find myself thinking that way, I am disgusted.  Our baby is not a trophy.  She’s not a commodity.    I didn’t expect this part of the process to be so HARD.  It’s unbelievable to me…

  • Adoption

    Hands Full, Arms Empty

      Six years ago today we answered THE PHONE CALL that we had been waiting a year for. Two days later we flew to Korea to pick up our son. Today, our current adoption is still delayed because of changes our Department of State has made. For the first time, I’ve entertained the idea of a “Plan B”.  This is the nature of adoption, I know. Nothing is sure, delays and changes are almost guaranteed. Transferring care (or better yet love) across international borders is messy, unpredictable, expensive, and always in a state of flux.  Yesterday my mom said that she knows people are praying for her because she has…